Hey dedicated followers of the blog, if you're still here then what an incredible amount of patience you have because I haven't posted in quite some time...the beginning of August was probably my last post. (Who am I kidding, haha no one is reading these.)
A ton of things have happened since I last had a moment to sit down and write out my thoughts. I bought an Atlanta United Jersey which was huge for me, I've never owned an authentic pro sports team uniform. I went to the cinema and saw some films (Shoutout MI:6 and Blackkklansman), bought some new boxer briefs, and treated myself to a few other things. All of which were "luxury" earlier in the summer. Pretty much everything else that has happened since then is related to work however. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job so I don't want it to seem like work is terrible or drab (trust me, it isn't) but the job isn't easy. Sure, there are plenty of more laborious jobs that require more physical effort, are more hazardous, and have less comfortable working conditions but that's not what makes this job so difficult. This job is mentally taxing but not for the typical work related issues that every job inevitably has.
I think I stated earlier when I first got this job how excited I was to be apart of the team. For refreshers, I am a set designer (although my official title is Draughtsperson) for the upcoming show, "American Soul." The show is about Don Cornelius and the rise of the Iconic "Soul Train" TV show and the people involved in making it "The Hippest Trip in America." My parents watched this and it definitely helped to define their generation and bring some of the best aspects of Black Culture to a general audience. I also watched it growing up too, not to the extent my parents did but like Motown and Afros, every so often I was immersed in the remnants of that time. I couldn't be more proud, excited, and humbled that this is my first project as a "set designer" out of the gate.
I can't go into too much detail about the sets or story lines (I'd like to keep my job) but reading the material and aiding in the design of this world has been educational and refreshing. Seeing everything come together from 2D designs, swatches of color, words on paper, and visions of the mind to real built sets has been a phenomenal experience. I get to visit 1970's LA and Chicago every day I go to work, no plane tickets or time machine required. That's the beauty of my job...and it is part of what keeps me going; knowing I had a part (perhaps small, I loose track of it sometimes) in creating that. Know for the mentally taxing part...
Have I mentioned I want to be an actor? That's the goal, that's the majority of the drive, that's the inspiration. Acting. While I've been on this project I have been unable to take any auditions, and this time of year is usually when auditions go into high gear...TV Shows are in full production lol like "American Soul." As I stated earlier, I'm apart of something on the other side of the camera that is just as impactful and important to the outcome of the story, keywords being, "other side of the camera." That's the part that wears thin on me sometimes. Watching the talent on the other side of the camera. Admittedly, it's a bit of "actor envy"...I couldn't be closer to the acting and so far away from it at the same time if I tried. Being on set (sets that I helped to draw and design no less) while watching the talent do their thing is a feeling that is hard to describe. I'm inspired and deflated at the same time. Educated by the process yet frustrated by the process. What do I have to do to be there? Why am I so physically close to acting? What do I take away from these daily experiences? Let me be clear (In my President Obama voice) It's not that I think I'm any better than the talent that has been cast; I know exactly what those actors had to go through in order to land those jobs. They worked hard for that opportunity, sacrificed things, and prepared to the best of their abilities. They booked it and were right for the roles. A couple of weeks before we started principal photography I got an audition from my agent for "American Soul"...talk about a mystifying cocktail of emotions...seriously? Thankfully my supportive boss and coworkers allowed me and encouraged me to do it; the role wasn't meant to be mine though, and I didn't get it. I should mention that in order to do my job correctly I have to read the scripts as they are released for each episode. The first read through of a new script is solely to see what new sets we may have to be creating or dressing on location. The second read through, is to see if there are ANY characters I would be right for. It's a constant yearning to find even a glimmer of an opportunity to act.
While I think about this, I have to reconcile with the reality of my situation. I was unemployed for about 14 weeks. I need this job, and I really wanted it. Those are facts. So I have to suck up the long days, weekend work, fast-paced stress, and frustration and keep going. Unless I land another set designer position for another project with someone from the current team, at the end of this I'll be unemployed again. At the end of this I will have not been on a significant audition in 4 months. I try not to think about all the auditions I may be missing and the roles that I might have been right for. I booked "Atlanta" last October, the Ocotber previous to that I signed with my agent. October has been milestone month for me...maybe something happens in the next 30 days.
This past week was definitely the hardest mental experience on the project to date. A pretty famous person was cast to play an iconic character (real life person) in our show. This person was given the alias, "Misty Hart", on the call sheets and prep schedules to help conceal their identity. Anyhow, long story short "Misty Hart" was filming their scene on one of our more complicated sets. Little ol' me had to go get some measurements from this set for an upcoming element that needed to be created for a future episode. No big deal, right? Well, because this is the film industry and everything is needed yesterday, those measurements needed to be obtained ASAP, as in, in between takes. So I get to a HOT set with 30 or more extras, our lead actor, "Misty Hart", and almost all the producers present. All I am trying to do is take measurements in between "cut" and "action". I was incredibly nervous...I didn't want to be the lowly set designer who was slowing down filming or getting in the way of the production and my proximity to all those people was...odd. I had to be professional and do my job, which in that moment, was to take measurements without getting in the way. Freaking out because I was within high five distance of Misty Hart, nope couldn't do that. Schmoozing with the show-runner, director, and Executive producers about how I'm an actor too, nope couldn't do that. Telling our talented lead actor and another supporting actor how great a job they are doing, probably could've gotten away with that but really nope, couldn't do that. Instead I was literally crawling on the floor taking a measurement and actively trying to be UN-seen. In a moment like that, all I wanted to do was in fact, BE seen. In between takes I watched the video monitor from behind the director and producers on what the shots will look like...it was incredible. The little details that I spent a few Saturdays at work trying to get right really popped on the screen; everything about the set and the acting came together beautifully. Seriously, it looked amazing and I was inspired and proud, yet still a little frustrated because I was witnessing it all unfold from behind the camera.
Right now my goal of acting can be compared to a cocktail; I know it has equal parts inspiration and frustration. I know that it must be shaken and stirred like I am everyday. And I know that my heart is the key ingredient. Everything else is unclear, so I'll name the cocktail a "Misty Heart."
I'll be back with updates when I can!
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