I've never been so emotional in my life for such a sustained period of time. Seriously. Some days are better than others but there are moments when I become a tad overwhelmed with emotion...I feel like I want to ball up and cry. Sometimes I do the "manly" thing (whatever that means) and hold it in, other times, not so much. Today I went and saw "Incredibles 2" at a matinee, by myself (the by myself part was ehhh...I'm used to it by now though lol). The weather was crap today so that didn't help with the mood...in fact I was hoping that going to see the movie would lift my spirits some. And thankfully, it did, it was a great movie full of nostalgia, fun, and action. Oddly enough, this go round, Pixar decided not to implement their trademark "tear jerking" plot points. It was a much lighter adventure, yet I still cried. Now, I wasn't sobbing but there were multiple moments where I felt myself start to well up a little.
Remember a few posts ago I talked about FOMO (fear of missing out)? Well it's in full swing, my friends are up in Michigan right now at Electric Forest, hopefully, having a great time. My bank account isn't empty yet but in a few days rent will be due, along with all the bills. This will be a huge block of money that I'll have to withdraw from "The Reservoir" aka savings. It's a bit scary, especially with nothing substantial being put back in. This was the major reason why I didn't purchase a ticket to the festival. I still haven't heard anything about returning to work at the studio beginning in July either (that was the month that was rumored to be a possible return time). My point is, things don't look that peachy at the moment.
I have an in person audition tomorrow for a student film that I submitted for; in the event I book the role it'd at least be a SAG level project AKA I'll get some pay. Furthermore, I'll be participating in the 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. This is an international event in which major cities host a number of teams competing to make a short film in 48 hours. Each city selects a first place film which then goes to the later rounds to compete with other cities/nations across the globe. I have no idea what to expect but it is a chance to be a storyteller for 48 hours with other creatives.
Having faith is hard...and a lot of times I don't think I'm that good at it. I said I'd keep this Blog secular so I won't get into it too deeply but there is this saying in Christianity that says we have to walk through life by faith and not by sight. Faith in God that is. I think this saying can apply to anyone regardless of your religion or lack thereof. Whatever you choose to put your faith in, even if it's yourself or just pure "chance" it gets difficult to keep going when the stuff you see/encounter constantly doesn't seem to be helping your efforts. It's in these moments that honestly, you can't walk through it by what you see; you have to put your faith in a combination of things that make sense to you and that you trust.
The audition and the 48 hour film project have been something for me to put a little faith in as far as getting through the FOMO. They will keep my mind occupied so it's not obsessing over whatever festivities I might be missing in Michigan...at least somewhat lol. Anyhow, have faith in God, or at least something and turn to that when the "walk" starts to get shitty (sorry Mom, just being honest).
To end on positivity though, hopefully next week I'll at least have a short film to show and talk about with you. I might even be able to talk about how I booked this audition tomorrow.
LOLOL this photo has nothing to do with today's post but it made me laugh. Saw it after coming out of Incredibles on a restaurant's window.
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