Today feels like the ending of one chapter and the beginning of another...
My survival job (what pays my bills) while I have been pursuing an acting career has been more of a "thrival" job. Ever since I started working here in January of 2017 I have done nothing but thrive. I have been incredibly fortunate to have this job and it has been a perfect blend of my educational background in architecture and my passion in acting; the past year and 4 months has been quite the transition from architecture into the film industry. (I'm sure I'll cover this backstory more in another post but for now, just go with me!) I work(ed) as a designer at a not so obscure studio in Atlanta, GA. I am terrified to say who just in case it screws with some confidentiality clause I signed, perhaps one day I'll reveal it publicly. I hope to get the chance to thank them more publicly but my bosses and coworkers have been essential in making this job a "thrival" opportunity, so a huge thank you to them.
Now for the bad news. Long story short, due to the cycling nature of the film industry, tomorrow may be my last official day working here. That's not guaranteed but the return date for production, at the moment, is unknown. I'm nervous, stressed, excited, scared, hopeful, confused, and inspired all at the same time. What am I going to do next week when I wake up and don't have a job? I'm a Christian, that's how I choose to rationalize the inexplicable things that occur in life. God is always in control, even when it doesn't seem like it. The more secular rationalization, something I too find comfort in, is that everything happens for a reason. What am I going to do? At this moment, while I type this post, I HAVE NO IDEA. I do know that I'll be resourceful and I will eventually figure something out and above all else this is happening for a reason.
Yesterday, I had a mini breakdown on the phone with my father. The audition drought, impending unemployment, and the hustle and bustle of being on a film studio really had me freaking out. I was among the industry, movies were filming around me, actors were literally walking in front of me...yet I seemed very far away from my goals. It was a bit much and I needed to vent, thankfully my father and mother have always been there. Moments after my vent I got a notification of an audition...I kid you not, the second I hung up the phone I got the notification. The audition is today, the project films later this summer, and the material and role seem to have great substance. Do I want the role? $H#! YES! Whether or not I get the part, I can't help but view today as the end of a chapter and beginning of another. I don't know how but I have to use this time to progress and under no circumstance become stagnant. So I will break my leg today (actor talk for doing a dope job) on this audition, I will calm down, and I will be ok. And maybe that is the true name of this next chapter, "Ok" and not "X."
Be who you want to be a week from now, today.
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